germaine's love

2010-07-18T02:22:00.001-07:00

Sudden urge of blogging again.
It seems like the sky is crying for us everyday..
Things changed so much.
both you and i changed so much.
i dont deny that i miss those days,
having someone i know i could rely on.
Now that i've learnt to rely on no one but myself.
and i've grown strong out of it.
but yet, i still miss you.
Maybe i shouldnt be selfish anymore,
because im afraid that im doing so..
because im afraid of being alone.
i cant bring myself to hurt you all over again..
because i know how painful it is.

Hahaha. Nao i feel like crying.
wtf.
i know.

Meet me halfway.

2010-06-29T00:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time.
Everything changed.
But well, this is life isnt it?
We've all got to learn to let go sometimes.
All we've to do is to smile everyday.
Because there're facts that you simply can't change.
I'm still learning to cherish the ones i love the most.
And live life with no regrets!
Speaking of that,
i just made up my mind to start studying real hard.
LOL.
Ok bye, off to study!

old me's dead and gone.

2010-06-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

you made me smiled,
please stay for awhile now.
I lose control, when you kiss me.
the feeling shows, tears hold back.

2010-06-03T05:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when i hugged you.
i felt so happy, and afraid of losing you.
im afraid that it's the last time.
never get to hug you this close ever again.
you and i.
lead different lifes, fate brought us together.
and i didnt regret being together with you.
i'd regret not putting enough love for you.
last night, when you left, i didnt feel sad.
i feel like everything will be fine.
but yet, you told me how you felt.
i didnt know what to do when i know how you felt.
all i know is that, i've got to tell you how i felt and think.
before everything's too late.
but, when i told you how i felt, hoping that we could fix this.
it didnt happen, you gave up, and let go of me.
when i was about to hold you tight, and love you even more.
yes, it hurts me, the pain that you've made, will always be with me.
i cried and i asked you questions that i needed to ask.
your answers were not the ones i wanted..
you've long let go of me.
there's nothing i could do to change, us.
i cried so hard and hoped that everything was a dream.
but it wasnt..
you're no longer with me.
you asked if i trust you.
i didnt know what to answer..
because i dont trust that you'll be there for me forever.
maybe i loved you slightly deeper than you loved me.
but it doesnt matter anymore.
i'll give you what you want, because you've always been giving in to me.

im afraid that i'll break into tears when i see you tomorrow.
but i dont know if you ever felt the same as me..
seeing the letters and little things that we've been through.
it breaks my heart all over again.

i love you,
xoxo.

Be strong.

2010-05-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

screaming i love you in my heart.
but you wouldnt know a thing.

2010-05-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

It's just too late.
I didnt say i love you enough.

Live like we're dying.

2010-05-27T18:58:00.000-07:00

When i first met you, i knew you were the one.
When im with you, I am happy and i want to be with you forever.
When i quarreled with you, i felt like the world's gonna end.
When we come to an end, it hurts so much.
I miss the times we had.
I miss waking up and disturbing you.
I miss the hugs and kisses that we had.
I miss you so badly.
For the past few days, i had cried so much for you.
my heart's so painful.
and it could fall apart any moment.

But you're not with me anymore.
We're not the same anymore.

I promised that i wont hurt you anymore.
and you wont feel any pain anymore.
I'll disappear from your life.
goodbye and take care.

2010-05-17T19:41:00.000-07:00

Hi!

Bye.

homealone

2010-04-09T22:06:00.001-07:00

staying at home on saturday, alone.
listening to sweet memories.
longing for your touch.
but yet, my mind wants me to leave it alone.
telling me that i will be fine.
last night, it wasnt a good night.
how i wish tears can be converted to fats.
because i lost alot last night.
i was puzzled. i didnt know what happen.
it's now left unknown.
why isit that when i show my apologies,
you didnt reply me.
you walked away.
leaving me behind alone.

I then realize, it's already too late.

2010-04-01T01:59:00.000-07:00

Can you please come back to me?
was listening to always be my baby last night with my boy.
memories flashed back.
i cried, i hoped.
i tried to forget.

2010-03-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

i always ask myself would i rather have a loving family or a rich family?
i find myself unable to answer that question.
i am someone who's often alone at home.
times that i spent alone in my room.
countless times of reflections.
and i'll end up with tears flowing down my cheeks.
my answer to everything, who to blame?
me.

2010-03-13T05:53:00.001-08:00

you're not here when i needed you the most..

pocketful of sunshine

2010-03-10T03:41:00.000-08:00

I feel angry at myself because i did things i shouldn't do.
I dont know why i did so or say so. It's like the angel in me suddenly voiced out.
and at times, the devil controls my mind.
Things that i've done cant be undone.
Time that had passed cant be rewind.
Oh my, now that i've done so, i cant do anything about it.
grr. how i wish 2012 end of the world would really happen.
It's like a sweet escape from everything.

Take me away.

2010-03-08T22:15:00.000-08:00

when was the last time i blogged?
i couldnt even recall.
things are getting better now.
he's by my side. and im by his side.
i love the feeling of knowing that i'll get to see him everyday.
i love to use his lappy instead of mine.
i love feeling sleepy and missing him at the same time.
i love it when he's tired but yet he still puts an effort to entertain me.
i want to feel like this always.
it makes me feel not taken for granted.
and i want to learn to not take things for granted.
that's gonna be really hard but i'll try :)

i look like im doing yoga. LOL.

everyday i see my dream.

2010-02-14T17:10:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's day and
Happy chinese new year!

no point

2010-02-10T23:58:00.000-08:00

i dont find a need for me to be here.
or there. or anywhere.
it's just the end of everything.

is there somebody still believe in love?

hey soul sister

2010-02-08T04:40:00.000-08:00

I miss you.
do you miss me?

2010-02-03T04:16:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to :
The show.

Im just a little bit caught in the middle.
My msn cant sign me in! pissed off.
so i stopped trying :(
i cant wait to change my phone.
because i'm so sick and tired of touchscreens.
i want something with qwertys.
or maybe a SIDEKICK?
been really busy recently.
i dont really even have the time to emo.
days passes by so fast.
it's already thursday tomorrow!

Just kill me.

2010-01-31T03:26:00.000-08:00

Well, i cant find another day better than today,
to be the worse day of my life.
everything's coming all at once.
i couldnt stop my tears everytime i think about them.
I am always not happy with my life.
I am always not happy with myself.
I am always not happy with everything.
Where's the positive attitude of mine?
Where isit?
I need you back.
real badly.

im so tired of being here.

2010-01-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

im so tired of being here.
your presence still lingers here.
and it wont leave me alone.

i wished that everything will remain as wonderful.
all the memories that we used to have.
and that will never changed.

im just..
disappointed..

justdontcareaboutthispost

2010-01-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

would you do anything..
to save our friendship?
i guess the answer will probably be..
no..

how could it be,
so sweet yet bitter.
tell me why.

im a fool out of love.

2010-01-25T22:32:00.000-08:00

blog's covered with dirty dust.
i am not emo today.
so no emo post :}
been really high in school recently.
laughing at almost everything.
this is the only way to keep me going in school!
no more '' i must do well for O's '' mood.
more of a '' i cant wait for friday '' mood.
oh my.
what to do ?

2010-01-21T22:10:00.000-08:00

benji on his way here.
i have been rather depressed lately.
i just dont understand why.
when you treat someone good,
they always take it for granted.
like always.
and me,
softhearted.
suffering, me.

dont come back,
because i didnt ask you to.

the funny thing is,
i dont feel anything at all.
it seems just another day.
like another weekday.
no more weekends for me.

2010-01-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

Please.

who's there?
no one.

Busy bee

2010-01-18T04:57:00.001-08:00

So sorry for not replying to the board.
Just dont really have the time. (fake)
Im just too lazy to reply :(
dnt's on top of my head now.
history's pressing onto my head.
( hist SBQ. LOL. )
and maths already in my head.
toughness.
oh no.
oh god.
:{

sunday

2010-01-16T23:11:00.001-08:00

Excellent weekend with baby.
Everything seem to be so cheerful.
All the problems were covered with laughters.
it seemed so perfect..
Well, sometimes i really think that life's fair.
when 'this' is in excellent condition,
and the 'other' goes down the drain.

I'd just let it be. let it be gone.
forever and ever.. goodbye.

your ugly truth.

2010-01-15T03:44:00.000-08:00

Well, what else can i say?
I've always taken you as a friend of mine.
someone that will be by her side always.
and yet, you're just another f-ing idiot.
who doesn't even know who you're dealing with.
Really. Becareful of your mouth, what you say.
You'll probably be fucked up by your mouth one day.

middle.

Rock my world.

2010-01-13T22:27:00.001-08:00

well, i spend my time thinking bout you.
i hope you'll do that too :}

Tomorrow's friday!
School feels like war everyday.
Gonna go get my dnt done now :{

friday.friday.friday.friday.friday.
friday.friday.friday.friday.friday.
friday.friday.friday.friday.friday.

just another creature that i probably wont get to understand.

2010-01-13T03:55:00.000-08:00

Out of a sudden.
i got this urge to blog.
don't ask me why, cause i dunno either.
sometimes i wonder,
guys, probably,
are just another creature
that i probably wont get to understand.
well sometimes. only, i guess.
imagine if there're only females. no males.
everybody's hot.
that sounds rather good huh?
HA.

wednesday.

2010-01-13T01:16:00.000-08:00

dnt's killing meeee.
Yay.

Chantelle hates facebook.
:{

Another sunny afternoon.

2010-01-12T01:14:00.000-08:00

Another day of school.
Nothing much.
Nothing little.
Just plain stress.
I've got to change my attitude.
of looking forward to the weekends.
every week.

I just cant believe that you're gone..
No longer with me.

new blog.

2010-01-11T01:03:00.000-08:00

new blog.
lost access of x-xo-o.
im very upset about it.
but looks like google
dont give a damn about it.
shit you.